Best man Clyde Donovan
by TweekingOut
Summary: Tweek Tweak always tried to keep his best freind and his boy freind totally seperate, but somtimes, it doesn't work and you end up getting married in Iowa.


**AN/ So I have no idea where this came from, but I was bored, so here it is. I'd always imagined this is how life would be for Clyde, Craig and poor Tweek in the middle of it all, with Clyde being like the kid and then Craig and Tweek the easily annoyed parents XD ha ha, well please enjoy and maybe review 3 **

"Hey Tweek!" Shouts Clyde from a nearby hill, after a whole day of searching he had finally found his best friend, sat on a bench at starks pond alone.

"GAH! Clyde! Don't sneak up on me like that you moron!"

"Sorry bro, I've been looking for you all day, why are you hiding out here?" He asks, cooly jumping over the bench using one arm and taking a seat next to Tweek.

"Umm, the government man! Their planning something, I just know it Clyde!" He replies. This was not the real reason for Tweek hiding, no. Tweek just wanted a little alone time, since Clyde and Craig hate each other he has to keep the two totally separate thus leading to him having practically no time alone.

"The government, huh? What are they up to know?" He asks, investigating a piece of moss he pulled off the bench, before flicking it off to the side.

"Yep, I don't know yet Clyde, so I came here to think about it."

"Right, well your boyfriends being looking for you all morning, says you have something to give him."

"Oh shit! I totally forgot!" Cries Tweek, using his hands to hide his face.

"Whoa, surely it's not that important?" Oh but it was, very important in fact.

"He's been asking for weeks, I promised him I'd finally get it!"

"Well did you?"

"Yes, it's in my pocket, I just haven't given it to him yet."

"Can I see," Clyde asks suggestively, shuffling closer to Tweek.

"N-no!"

"Why not Tweekers, let me see it!" He moans, reaching for Tweek, failing epically as Tweek jumps off the bench.

"Nuh-uh, never! Its Craig's and it's private!"

"Please! Let me have some!" He reaches out to Tweek needingly.

"No Clyde! You can't! Besides, I don't think you'd want any…."

"Well do you get some?"

"Y-yes! I do!"

"Then why can't I!" An aggravated Clyde sighs.

"B-because Clyde! Mind your own damn business!"

"Well you've sparked my curiosity." And by that Tweek knew he had only one choice. He was going to have to show Clyde and embarrass Craig. Once you spark Clyde Donovan's curiosity, you may's well give in, because once you've sparked it, you cannot run, you cannot hide, and you cannot lie. Clyde will eventually find out.

"Damn it Clyde! If I show you, you can't tell C-craig. And you can't laugh." He says sternly, jabbing his finger into Clyde's chest for emphasis with every threat.

"Hah, no promises, now lemme see!" He reaches out once again, like and obnoxious child.

"Fine" Rolling his eyes, Tweek finally caves and pulls the tube out of his pocket, shoving it right in Clyde's face, "Here, happy now?"

"Mint flavour?" He asks, pushing Tweek's hand away.

"Yes! He wanted mint, deal with it Clyde!"

"Why can't he just have normal! What the hell! I didn't even know they made mint!"

"Me neither…." He shoves the tube back into his pocket.

"And you walked round town, with that," He points at Tweek's pocket "Stuff, in your pocket all day?" Tweek casually nods.

"Oh, and who does Craig expect to be using that with?" Clyde asks glaring at Tweek.

"Clyde! Who the hell do you think!" Growls Tweek, punching Clyde in the arm.

"Tweek that's so gross… Well I hope you like mint Tweekers." Clyde stands up ,ruffling Tweek's hair, he scowls back, "Have fun with your awkward little boyfriend," and as Clyde went to turn around he bashes right into Craig, causing Tweek to let out a tiny giggle.

"Oh, um, Craig, how you doing bro?" Clyde says awkwardly scratching the back of his neck.

"I'm not your bro Donovan, what are you doing to Tweek?" Craig asks as he shoves Clyde out the way to stand by Tweek.

"Oh, nothing, we were just talking about ice cream and shit…" Clyde winks at Tweek.

"Ice cream?" Craig asks, cocking a brow.

"Yes, Tweek loves coffee flavour, and he told me you quite like mint." Clyde smirks.

"You told him!" Yells Craig, turning to Tweek.

"I sparked his curiosity Craig! What if he pushed me in the pond! I'd freeze to death, then you can't use your-" He's cut off by Craig's hand covering his mouth, but he continues to talk muffled.

"Tweek stop it, that was private!"

"But he already knows!"

"Donovan!" Craig starts, walking back over the Clyde and pushing him up to a nearby tree, "Tell anyone about this and I you won't see another sunrise, I'll drill a hole in your skull and do HORRIBLE things Clyde, you got that?"

"Y-yes master Craig, anything…" He chokes, "What's the big deal Craig, everyone has it, your just being an awkward little fucker and using mint!"

"It's private shit Clyde! No one was meant to know!"

"You blowing this way out of proportion." Sniggers Clyde, putting extra emphasis on the word 'blow'.

"Guys stop, I love you both!" Interrupts Tweek, taking Clyde from Craig.

"Awh, thanks Tweekers, I love you too!" Clyde goes in to hug Tweek, as Craig watches angrily.

"Clyde I hate you." Craig scowls.

"D-do ya love me Craig?" asks Tweek, still tangled with Clyde.

"Of course I love you Tweek."

"Ew, that's so gay, why don't you just marry him." Teases Clyde. Craig flips him off and pushes him off of his boyfriend. Before getting down on one knee and taking Tweek's hand in his own.

"Yer Tweek, marry me you paranoid little freak."

"Craig, I can't marry you…." He blushes, looking away awkwardly.

"Why the fuck not!?" Craig gets up.

"Because stupid, same sex marriage is illegal in Colorado."

"Then we'll run away together, we'll go to Iowa!" Craig points in the supposed direction of Iowa.

"No! That's too far away, you have to stay here, with me." Whimpers Clyde.

"I'd much rather not." Craig answers emotionlessly.

"Don't worry Clyde, you can come with us, and be my best man!" Tweek cheerily says, placing an arm around Clyde who immediately perks up.

"Yes! You hear that Craig? I'm best man!"

"Well sure, while your at It Tweek, let's all just share the same bed!" Craig argues sarcastically.

"Craig don't be a dick, of course Clyde's best man, who else?"

"So you will marry me?" Craig asks hopefully.

"Yes! I l-love you!" At that Craig pulls Tweek into a very deep kiss.

"Yay!" Clyde claps happily, "Taco bell? Please? Guys?"

"Ha, ask Craig he's the one who can drive." Tweek laughs, pointing to Craig.

"Please Craigy poo, I love you! Have a heart!" The ever persuasive Clyde asks.

"My heart belongs to Tweek." Clyde looks to Tweek excitedly and expectantly.

"Yes, Clyde we'll take you to taco bell." Clyde let's out a squee and runs over to Craig's truck parked in the parking lot.

"Kids huh?" Craig sighs, placing his hand in Tweek's back pocket.

"Kids." Agrees Tweek, putting his hand in Craig's back pocket.

**AN/ So Tweek, Craig and Clyde all went to taco bell, Craig got to use his mint flavoured…(well you can guess what it is, its kinda obvious), Craig and Tweek did get married, in Iowa, and Clyde gave a very touching speech. And they all lived happily ever after! Yay! **


End file.
